Healing is Messy

Have you ever been in the middle of cleaning your house – and I mean, really cleaning – and then stopped to take a look around? It’s a disaster, isn’t it? Maybe you’re mid-move, maybe you’re packing up winter clothes and blankets for storage, maybe you’re rooting through drawers and closets, sorting out what items you want to keep and what goes in the donation pile, or gets tossed.

It looks like a big freaking mess. If someone were to walk in, they would have no idea you were cleaning because that’s sure not what it looks like. The problem, and the beauty, of it is just that. We get to drag everything out of the closet and examine it under the light, maybe sorted into piles-ish or in semi-designated corners, with “not sure” piles somewhere in between. Things you completely forgot about, things you’ve been searching for, things you had no idea were still there, things you thought you got rid of ages ago that were still lurking in the deep dark corners of your junk drawer.

You could NOT have seen any of those, still safely, “neatly” tucked away in your closet, drawers, or cupboards. Sure, everything looked neat from the outside. Close those cupboard doors, everything looks good! But inside… just a big ol’ mess.

Healing is exactly the same process. Shining the light on old beliefs, thoughts, patterns, behaviours. Things you thought you had addressed already, still freaking lurking around for some reason. Maybe you took one look at it and put it back “just in case” you needed that thought one day: after all, it had served you in the past, maybe even protected you. But not today. You’ve outgrown it, so to speak. Don’t need THAT dated old thing anymore.

Now personally, I’m not one to dig through EVERYTHING all at once. It’s super overwhelming. This goes for sorting and moving my physical home, and sorting and processing my old beliefs. I’ve met some people who like to really dig in there and go through every single nook and cranny all at once, like marathon cleaning. I’ve done some pretty deep cleans, emotionally speaking, and let me tell you, I needed a lot of support through it! It can be hard to go through daily life while processing deep-set emotions. I believe more in the layers of the onion approach… dealing with a layer at a time. Whatever comes up, comes up. Trusting and knowing, that more will be revealed. This gets to be a lifelong process. A journey. A teaching.

Because the world will always throw stuff on us, even without our knowing. “Hey, how did I pick THAT up?” you might wonder. So it’s our job, always, to go back to our center, go back to our feelings, go back to our truths, and peel off one layer at a time. Keeping the truths and beliefs that are our truest truths, our deepest knowings, and tossing ones like, “I’m not good enough” because life taught me that over and over again in my childhood.

Then, protect your energy. Don’t go through the trash and bring things back in. Don’t drag crappy old things back into your home. And don’t drag negative, soul-sucking people and ideas into your life. You can choose to let that stuff go, even though it’s sentimental and you’ve had those ideas or those people in your life for a really long time. Be clear on your boundaries. Keep your side of the street clean. Be a good, strong example to others. You don’t need to shame other people for the junk that they choose to hold onto… you can show them how nice it is to be clear of all that junk, and let them make their own choices and live their own lives.

Healing is messy. Cleaning house is messy. They’re kind of the same thing, and somewhat reflective of each other. The world seems to be doing a really, really big deep clean right now, and maybe us inhabitants aren’t all too happy about it. But she needs some cleaning, so things are coming to light, and it doesn’t look pretty. We’d rather things looked all neat and tidy and pretend there aren’t all these bad things in our house (the earth). But it’s there. Right in our backyard. And each one of us can do our part, in some way, big or small.

“Peace begins with me”

Gabby Bernstein

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